Who's In Charge Here?

"God made boys - all of them - to be leaders...They have an instinct to take charge, and that desire to rule and command needs training. Unfortunately, it will often combine with the sin nature to become a real challenge to his parents, especially his mother."

Training boys to be leaders means they have to learn to follow.

*Dad always backs up Mom, and Mom always defers to Dad

*We are told to use physical punishment and not to withhold correction, but we are also warned not to provoke our children to wrath, which can happen if they perceive our correction to be unjust or personal

*Discipline is meant to bring about repentance and restoration - it is an expression of our love, it is temporarily unpleasant, but should lead to teaching


I think being a teacher helps prepare me for the discipline that is sure to come. The process of reflective discipline is what I use at school "What did you do wrong?...What should you have done?...What will you do next time?..." Case closed.

The protocol of requiring the kids to use biblical language and ask for forgiveness is an interesting concept. It does make sense to me that it could mean more than "I'm sorry."

Adam really liked the "army approach" discipline :-)

Taking up arms .....chap. 4
The bible speaks of "taking up arms in both the old and the New Testament.    The Youngs take a common sense approach to, "Teaching the taking up of arms as part of rearing ".  I agree that guns are not a problem as much as lack of instruction of those handling  guns.   Identifying this area of rearing could be very value as you never know what the future holds and anything taught to children as they grow instills confidence and a responsible attitude.   This is an area we never discussed as parents.  I would agree that fathers are the best people to teach taking up arms.

Just checking in.

I was just wondering how everyoneshe reading was going? I'm sure I'm way behind.

My Highlights from Chapters 1-3

Someone To Look Up To:

• Men and the boys who become them have a need for respect, but they are ready to give it as well.
• Boys really like having someone they can look up to, someone to admire, someone to claim as their hero.
• What we admire, we tend to become.
• the Bible is full of examples of admirable men.
• The boy's first hero should definitely be his dad...A child's first ideas about God come from ideas about his father...As he grows, though, the boy's ultimate hero should be Christ.
• Television and movies are a critical area because men tend to be very visual.
• **I felt like they went a little overboard with their censorship...but I did like the idea of talking about a movie's theme and discussing how that theme is being taught through the plot, characters, etc.
• They will have heroes. For their own sakes, make sure they're the right ones

Is There Not A Cause?:

• Adults sometimes equate a desire for adventure with immaturity and recklessness. The Bible makes a distinction and so should we.
• Boys need to have the freedom to take reasonable risks...A carefully considered risk, prayerfully undertaken, is not recklessness.
• temptations and sins are sometimes "the excess or perversion" of godly traits.
• Reckless behavior, particularly in young boys, may be the uncontrolled expression of a legitimate, even godly, desire to strive after great and noble deeds
• Our boys should be active and adventurous, but careful of themselves at the ultimate extreme, understanding that life is a gift and their bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit.
• *If he hasn't faced the trial yet, or he's in the midst of it - encourage him. If he's been to the wars and is limping home wounded - comfort him. Once the wounds are bound up, encourage him to rise and face the fight again.

Standing Alone:

• **Even being a history major I did not realize how young some of the men were that they mention!
• "Who is the youngest person who can do this job right now?"
• Introduce [them] into adult roles, little by little
• they need an opportunity to start standing on their own when they don't have to do it very long - think of it like teaching a baby to walk
• "Do they have a way of escape from bad influences, and can they hand the responsibility?"
• A tiny bit of responsibility is given, and when that is handled faithfully, give more.
• A young man can't stand alone if he doesn't know God
• consistently strive for your young men to be young men

What makes a real man?

I've just cracked the book and started reading. The first real good discussion topic that jumped out at me from the intro was -- what makes a real man? What do you see in your husband that makes him a good man? What is it that we women need from our men?

The Challenge of Boys

I didn't grow up around boys...so I'm hoping that this book will be quite educational and eye-opening for me. Yes, I have a brother...but let's be honest, growing up with Lee was nothing like growing up with the typical brother. Even looking toward my extended family I didn't have a lot of boy influences - 2 male cousins out of 6 (and the second wasn't born until I was already in High School). Needless to say, I think I have a lot to learn in the raising a boy department - let alone raising a "real man."

I'm not sure if/how the fact that this advice is coming from a mom who homeschools her children will affect the overall message of the book...but I am looking forward to the "biblical perspective" that it says it will provide. I'm not sure how to interpret the claim that our culture is "frought with gender confusion" - I can certainly think of some examples of how gender roles have blended over time, but I don't know if I would use such strong language to describe our overall culture. I'm looking forward to being able to recognize the traits of boys as traits of real men in the making :-)